lindsaymaddox.com

Think of all the horrible things that have happened to you to date. Now, imagine all of those things happening within the course of a year. You might, just might, be close to understanding what my friend has gone through this past year.

I didn't know Katie two months ago, but I feel like I've known her forever. She is 20 years old, gorgeous inside and ... << MORE >>

So, there I was, mostly naked, lying on my stomach. First touch, the side of my boo-tay. Next, up my back. My neck. My arms.There was oil involved. Slow music played in the background. I lost myself in ecstacy and thought, "Wow, I'm glad I shaved my legs for this."

"Let me know if you get uncomfortable," she said in a calming voice.

It was a massage, sicko. Get your brain ... << MORE >>

If you haven't read the original You put *what* in your mouth?! I'd recommend starting there before reading this post. It'll truly give you some insight to what weird stuff my daughter has licked, chewed on, and otherwise completely grossed me out with.

For whatever reason, I mentally blocked the grossest, most barf-worthy thing she has put in her mouth.

Ya know how you forget certain experiences until something sparks your memory? That ... << MORE >>

Yesterday I talked about... um, well, if you read it, you remember. Today, I'm going to mention church. What can I say? I'm a multi-faceted human being.

Today, our pastor spoke about longing and asked us to think about what we long for. We turned to the person next to us and told them what that was.

I leaned my head on Clint's shoulder and sighed, "Sleeeeep!"

He laughed ... << MORE >>

The people who probably should not read the following blog include: My mom, dad, brother, grandma, basically anyone who can remember me in diapers, my kids in the future when the idea of their parents doing anything but holding hands is grooooss!, anyone who thinks sex toys are the devil, and anyone without a sense of humor.

Still with me?

I know you are...

Yesterday, I heard little ... << MORE >>

I fell yesterday, like, really friggin' hard. I was carrying Z in my arms, stepped over a bean bag on the floor, thought I had cleared it, but nope... slipped on the fabric of the bean bag and went dooown onto the hardwood floors. I twisted my body so Z would land on his booty, so he was totally fine and that was good. I, however, feel like I got into a car accident.

... << MORE >>

I did something to my babies last night that I would've never thought I would do; something that I am 100% positive they will hate me for later in life.

You see, my babies have been waking up in the middle of the night. Desperate for a full-night's sleep, I began running through my mind potential reasons why they might be waking up.

Like any mother of a non-sleeping baby (or two), ... << MORE >>

Last weekend, Turk and I were Super Parents. (Duh-da da da-dat duh daaaa!) We took on the slightly insane task of walking to downtown with our four kids strapped into two strollers. It was one of those things that could've gone horribly, painfully wrong.

Thankfully, it didn't. Nothing noteworthy happened. The kids behaved. They giggled and had fun. They were saintly!

But, fear not, for I have more ... << MORE >>

It always makes me nervous, trying out a new church. I get butterflies in my stomach as we wade through the churchgoers mingling in the foyer. My heart skips little timid beats when we try to figure out exactly where we should sit in the pews. "Are we too far in the back?" I worry. "Too close to the front? What if we're in someone's normal every-Sunday seat?"

I'm not entirely sure what ... << MORE >>

Oh, my little Lily.

Lily, Lily, Lily. She's a pretty girl. She's a smart girl. And I'm pretty sure she was sent here from Heaven to teach me that the body can truly put up with a lot of crap without getting sick.

I used the word "crap" intentionally.

You see, not only is my little Lily Bean ... << MORE >>