Blood and Bananas
Yeah, it’s been one of those days. No, I take that back, it’s been even more awful, and somehow more entertaining than one of those days. It all started first thing this morning...
I heard a cough cough... gag coming from Z’s direction.
This was the first indicator that today was going to be an interesting day.
Poor baby, I thought.
Moments later, Bug came into the room.
Cough, cough!
"Awww, I’m sorry buddy," I said, turning over in bed to blow my nose and cough.
Three of us were sick, but hey, it’s just a cold, no biggie! But this wouldn’t be an interesting blog if I stopped there, would it?
I crawled out of bed and yawned my way to the kitchen to get the kids some breakfast. Bean came in with a horrified look on her face.
“You okay, baby girl?” I asked.
She opened her mouth and coughed. Suddenly she became a human water fountain, emanating water. Lots and lots of water. Then, just when I thought she was done spewing water, there was more. I grabbed a towel and threw it on the ground. She bent down to clean it up.
“Baby girl, no! You don’t have to clean it up. Mama'll do it.”
I wasn’t sure if she had coughed too hard and that’s what made her hurl, so I gave her a banana and some milk and sent her off to watch cartoons while I cleaned up. I put her in some new cozy jammies and made sure she didn’t have a fever. She was normal.
(Well, as normal as any offspring of mine could be anyway.)
Bug wanted to play Candy Land (and by “play” he means pull out all the pieces and get bored two seconds later), so I sat with him on the floor to set it up. Bean came around the corner, looked at me wide-eyed again, and I got to see the banana and milk again in a whole new form!
She was startled by her breakfast revisit and ran down the hallway, still making banana milkshake the entire way down. I scooped her up, stripped her, put her in the bath, and dealt with the mess. At this point I was thanking the Good Lord for our hardwood floors. Could you imagine cleaning all that up from carpet?!
After that was taken care of, I tucked her in to bed and went out to take care of the babies. Y decided that if Bean was cool enough to spew he must be too, and projectile vomited what looked like the entire 5 oz of formula I had just fed him.
At this point, all I could do was laugh and think, "Wow, this is going to make a great blog."
Meanwhile, Bug was coughing now and then and kept asking for “Cherry Cannon Blasters” otherwise known as Tylenol Cherry Blast. I repeatedly informed him that he didn’t need any medicine and he wasn’t going to get any.
The rest of the morning passed with little else to report. That is, until I was on the phone with my friend just after lunch.
Bug and Bean were playing in their room, and I heard happy squeals every few minutes. I know that happy squeals almost always turn into pissed off squeals, but I held out hope that today would be different. Sure enough, Bean, the little drama queen she is, started screaming. I waited. I know she’s the girly blonde-haired blue-eyed equivalent of the Boy Who Cried Wolf, so I assumed Bug had merely taken a toy away from her or wasn’t giving her a turn at something. I wanted to see if they could work it out.
Soon, I heard her running down the hallway. She rounded the corner.
“Oh. Shit! I have to go!” I yelled at my friend.
Bean’s face and hands were covered in blood. Not gory, Grey’s Anatomy spewing quarts of blood, but blood none-the-less. I picked her up and stood her in the tub where I washed off her face with a washcloth and made sure she wasn’t bleeding anymore.
Turns out, they had been messing around with the bunk bed ladder and it fell, whacking her in the face. Both of her lips are now super swollen. (See Exhibit B) Let’s just say she could give Angelina Jolie or the Octomom a run for their collagen-lipped money.
So, I scooped her into my arms, grabbed an ice pack and sat with her in my lap. Having watched far too much Grey’s, I nervously checked her pupils to make sure they weren’t uneven. And, even though it made no sense for the injury, when I went to pull her toward me, I thought, “Has her hip bone always been this boney?”
Seriously.
Eventually, she fell asleep, which also made me panic slightly because again, I watch way too many medical shows. (Have you seen Trauma? Love it.)
She woke up for a bit and was pretty upset about her lip. I gave her some Tylenol which started Bug up on his wanting "Cherry Canon Blasters" all over again.
*Eye Roll*
So, that is my day thus far and it isn’t even 3pm. That seals it, I’m asking my boss for a raise.
Photo Credit: Lindsay Maddox
Posted by Lindsay Maddox at 11/10/2009 3:41 PM 
Categories: Parenting,Toddler,humor
Tags: surviving 4 kids funny kid stories stories of a stay at home mom a bad day for a two year old funny parenting stories
Categories: Parenting,Toddler,humor
Tags: surviving 4 kids funny kid stories stories of a stay at home mom a bad day for a two year old funny parenting stories
Oh my goodness. Super mom had to be in high gear today. Poor babies.Poor mom. Wish I was there to help out. I'm good at caring for sick kids and worn out friends.I'm so sorry you are having such an overwhelming day.
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Holy crap! I would have been freaking out and any number of these events- much less having them all happen in one day.
You are a mommie goddess!
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Oh, honey, I'm so sorry! But thank God for your gift of writing because you know we love reading this stuff. And I don't know a mom out there who - medical shows or not - hasn't done the "Did she always have a bump right here?" thing. Hope today's a better day. Hugs!
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U poor, poor girl!!! What a frickin day!1 I would have had a nervous breakdown if that happened to my daughter....WOW!!
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There's never a dull moment in the life of a stay-at-home mom, huh? I hope they're all doing better now, Lins.
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