Me, the sobbing mess.
Okay, I'm kidding.
I think the straight jacket would make me look fat anyway.
Today, everything that I was laughing off and trying not to go insane over came to a head. I took Y in to the doctor for this weird, yucky cough he has had for going on a month now. This was our second trip to the doctor this week, the first was Wednesday when I took Y and Z in because they had the runs and an insane amount of puking.
(That was a fun trip, by the way. Especially when my little Y decided to projectile the second we walked into the door and when I asked the receptionist for a bag to put soiled blankets and clothes in, she offered me one of those ridiculous shallow puke dishes to try and catch any further spew. Notgonnahappen, but thanks for the offer...)
Anyway, so I bring Y in and the doc listened to his lungs and sure enough, they were wheezy. He wasn't super concerned about it, but since it's been going on so long, he said it would be a good idea to get him in for some x-rays. He also tells me that a company is going to be coming to my house to help us hook up a nebulizer to give him some medication to clear up his airway plus he's giving Y an antibiotic to really knock this yuckiness out of my poor guy's lungs. Whew, a lot of information, but I can handle it. Or, should I say, I can usually handle it.
I took him down to get x-rayed and immediately started kicking myself for not bringing his pacifier. I knew this was going to be rough... and boy was I right.
I entered the x-ray room, stripped Y, and put on this enormous lead cape thing. I tried not to worry over the fact that I was being protected by this huge cape when my little man was totally exposed. That seems so wrong to me. Anyway, so I placed my now cold and screaming baby onto this mini horse saddle thing inside a torture chamber. (Okay, so it was more like a tube, but it sure looked like a medieval torture device.) So I placed him in the tube and was instructed to hold his arms straight up while the technician secured the tube around him and then took the necessary pictures. We do this three times, the third because the first didn't develop right. Oy.
By this time, the whole week was bubbling up on me. The getting puked on, the nasty diaper changes, the fussy babies, the sound of spew hitting our hardwood floors with a sickening thwack, everything. I was wiping away tears before I had Y dressed and out of the x-ray room. Y was still freaking out and coughing his sad little cough.
I was told to come back to the nurses' station to get my prescription for Y and information about getting the nebulizer. By this point, I had more tears falling. I tried breathing deeply. I tried looking up at the ceiling, willing the tears to go away.
Then I saw her.
My huggy friend. My sweet, "Oh honey, what's wrong?" friend. I held my arms out for her to hug me and wouldn't you know she hugged me so tightly, she squished all of the tears straight out of my eyeballs? I totally lost my composure. Soon, I had the nurse and my doctor asking if I'm okay, rubbing my back, all of the things that are so wonderful and comforting, it just makes me cry more. I couldn't talk without choking and was making that annoying whimpering noise. Ugh. Humiliating.
My friend helped me out of the office, gave me another hug, and I left for home.
I had momentarily stopped crying, but the tears started again when I realized how freaking embarrassing that had been. I am not a dramatic person, I rarely ever cry in front of people, and I hope I didn't look like I was trying to get attention. I know Y is fine and will be even better after the treatments. I know the x-ray was just uncomfortable for him. I know most of the reason I was crying was because of the rest of the week. But man, I have never lost it like that in public!
So, back at home my little Y has his yucky little cough and Z threw up on me twice. In fact, I wish Guinness Book of World Records was standing nearby because I am fairly certain he made a new record for least time in two outfits. (Is there a record for that yet?)
I cleaned him up, put him in his exersaucer, pacified Y, and sat down for a tea party with Bug and Bean. I needed an excuse to eat Oreos and Nilla wafers and that was as good a reason as any.
Photo Credit: chest x-ray by adamci
Source: sxc.hu
Posted by Lindsay Maddox at 1/29/2010 4:53 PM 
Categories: health,friends,mental health,twins
Tags: stories of being a mother crying at the doctor's office crying in public
Categories: health,friends,mental health,twins
Tags: stories of being a mother crying at the doctor's office crying in public
Sheesh - your blog is complaining about every entry I make - says my name must be blah, then my email must be valid and then my url must be valid (they all were) and pling, pling, pling.... gives a girl a complex or something! It took me 12 times to post this!
As for the medieval torture device, when my baby boy was 16 months old, about 19 pounds (he was a little bitty guy), he had a horrid little cold/flu/roseolla something or another and he had to be put in the x-ray machine for his lungs too. They had these plastic plates, one for the front, one for the back, that looked like they were going to smash him, and they covered his entire itty bitty body, forcing his hands to be up sorta above his head.
You're lucky they let you be in there with him at all, even with the 'lead jacket' they gave you - they took my baby from me and told me I had to wait outside and I nearly lost it. If my son's SD hadn't been there, I might not have been able to wait outside - he sorta 'made' me.
My whole (long and drawn out) point here is, I know the 'similar' contraption you're referring too and I can say, beyond any doubt, a pacifier wouldn't have made one bit of difference at all.
Poor little guy. I do so hope he gets to feeling better. The nebulizer will be a wonderful for him, so don't freak out about that -- he'll breath so much better! (had one of those for Alleycat too)
Take care of you and our little men and our pretty princess. You are an amazing mommy.
Love and stuff,
Michy
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Geez... you all have really been through the wringer lately, Linds. I'm glad to hear that they're helping you get set up with the nebulizer for Y. The treatments will help tremendously. We went through a similar experience with my older daughter when she was 8 months old. She hated the treatments (even with the goofy-looking dinosaur mask) but they knocked out the problem quickly.
I know it's tough not to second guess yourself when it comes to your kids, but don't... just don't. You're a great mommy and those beautiful, happy kiddos are all the proof you need.
Hang in there!
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