Fireproof saved my marriage…
… from boredom. And good acting. And, uhm, yeah, it was way too much fun to make fun of. (A Warning: If you are a die-hard Fireproof fan, you’re probably going to hate the following blog post.) I have been hearing, all over the Facebook world and beyond, such claims as “Fireproof is the best movie ever” and “Fireproof is a must-see for married couples.” I thought it was a passing trend, something that would die down, but nope, 2 years after its debut, it still crops up in conversations and status updates. Clint and I are probably going to hell for how not seriously we took this movie. “Okay, okay, new drinking game: Take one shot every time Kirk Cameron licks his lips before talking.” “Wait, wait! Two shots every time he starts crying!” (For the record, aside from a little wine, we weren’t actually drinking. And, I am actually pretty impressed with Kirk Cameron’s crying abilities. That’s talent, right there.) There was one scene when Kirk Cameron’s dad guy and him were out in a random field, a cross randomly placed in the middle of it. Long before they actually got to the point of what was happening, the music all serious yet uplifting, Clint and I were singing:
Then, of course, there was the music-driven montage to show the divide between the married couple where we sang:
♫♪ It’s a tiiiime savin’ mon-tage! Tiiime savin’ mon-tage! Look, she’s there, now she’s not, now he is… It’s sad because they aren’t seeing eye-to-eye! It’s a tiiime savin’ mon-tage. Oooooh ooooh. ♪♫
At random moments, there would be action scenes.
♫♪ These-are-in-place-for-the duuuudes to-keep payin’ attention to the gir-ly stuff. Woo! ♪♫
Speaking of keeping the guys’ attention, there is one enormous thing that bugged me about this movie. It’s titled Fireproof, yet the entire premise of the story was this Love Dare that the dad gives his son. Wouldn’t the movie have been better suited to be titled Love Dare instead? The moment that thought popped into my mind, I realized that no dude was going to voluntarily watch some movie with the word “Love” in the title. Answered my own question.
There were some scenes that didn’t make a lick ‘a sense. Like, the firefighter trainer dude who was completing his tests. Okay, fine. The climbing the ladder and working hard was a metaphor for marriage and faith. Got it. Way to be subtle there, writers. Awesome job on the script.
That was about the point in the movie where Clint turned to me, serious faced and said, “I wonder if this movie won any Oscars or anything.”
“I have no idea,” I replied.
In his best announcer voice, Clint boomed, “And for best movie without a script, we have Fireproof!”
That’s when I fell in love with him all over again.
All joking aside, it did have a cool message. My issue was that message was beat over our heads like Kirk Cameron beat the computer to death with a bat Office Space style (during which I couldn’t resist breaking out into the rap that was played during the scene in Office Space where they were busting the copy machine…).
Plus, I sure do like that Kirk Cameron fellow. He’s easy on the eyes. Mmmm hmmm.
Alright, so we didn’t get anything good out of the movie and instead completely made fun of it and drooled over Kirk Cameron (well I did, anyway). Still, it was a good laugh and a good memory to make together. I suppose, in that sense, Fireproof was a good movie to watch as a married couple, after all.
Photo Credit: fuego by scudero
Source: sxc.hu
