Parenting advice from small cart no kids
Today, despite a horrendously splitting headache, I ventured out of the house with all of my kids in tow. It was more out of necessity than anything.
I had to get two super important prescriptions filled:
One that keeps me awake throughout the day.
The other, an anti-depressant.
See? Totally necessary.
It was all working out well. I had the twins in the front of the cart and, since they’re not at the trying to climb out age, it worked out well. Colby and Lily sat in the main part of the basket. Everyone behaved, thanks, in part, to a cookie-from-the-bakery bribe.
{Bribery: I said I’d never do it… until I became a parent.}
People stopped us left and right. I’m used to this, and it’s actually pretty entertaining. I wish, though, that I had a dime for every time I heard, “Wow, you have a basket full!” and “Where do the groceries go?”
My response to the second question, in case your wondering, is a smiley, “Less room for groceries, less opportunity to over-spend.” It’s true and smartass-esque. Love that.
At one point, a woman came busting up behind me, on a total mission. Small cart, no kids.
Small Cart No Kids looked my crew over, like the others had done before her. I smiled politely.
She pointed at Lily.
“Just so you know, she has her mouth on the cart.”
I nodded and said, “Yep! Thanks!”
Small Cart No Kids continued on her way, shaking her head ever so slightly.
I waited until she was out of sight and ear-shot before I whispered, “Yuck, Lily, get your mouth off of the cart.”
There were so many things wrong with that interaction. First of all, if my kid isn’t doing something dangerous like, oh, say, dangling their baby brother over the side of the cart, then don’t say anything. Second, I have a cart full of well-behaved kids. You have no right to find the one thing that one of my kids is doing “wrong” and point it out to me. If it grosses you out, then look away. And anyway, it’s better than the other nasty stuff she puts in her mouth. Sure, I’d rather she didn’t suck on a shopping cart, but honestly, at this point, I’m just glad she wasn’t noshing on a bag of raw chicken.
So, lady. Mind yo’ own bidness.
Hmph.
