Comments on: Lily Lies http://blog.lindsaymaddox.com/2010/07/lily-lies/ Laughing my way through motherhood. Wed, 25 Jan 2012 15:46:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: San Diego Infusionsoft Expert http://blog.lindsaymaddox.com/2010/07/lily-lies/comment-page-1/#comment-1874 San Diego Infusionsoft Expert Mon, 09 Aug 2010 13:51:24 +0000 http://blog.lindsaymaddox.com/?p=662#comment-1874 Sometimes, we cannot avoid this kind of thing, but we have to face the reality. While as a child, let us train her not to lie, even though it is a white lie, but train her into good characteristics. Sometimes, we cannot avoid this kind of thing, but we have to face the reality. While as a child, let us train her not to lie, even though it is a white lie, but train her into good characteristics.

]]> By: Beth http://blog.lindsaymaddox.com/2010/07/lily-lies/comment-page-1/#comment-1492 Beth Tue, 20 Jul 2010 00:39:58 +0000 http://blog.lindsaymaddox.com/?p=662#comment-1492 I had to add one more thing - I always make it a point to have a "stricter" punishment for lying than for whatever they've done that they are trying to cover up. For example, one of them took the pillows and comforter off my bed and threw them on the floor. I knew who it was because the other 2 kids had been downstairs with me the whole time. So I said, "What happened to my bed?" and the culprit immediately turned and pointed to her sister and said "I saw her throw them on the floor." I then said "Well, I know that isn't the truth because she was sitting on the couch watching tv with me, let's try again and tell me what really happened." The child told me another completely made up story involving the dog, a burglar (?) and a mosquito. I told her that I don't like it when she doesn't tell me the truth and I had given her a second chance to do so. Her consequences were as follows: for throwing my bedding on the floor she had to make my bed; for telling me something that was not true she had to sit in her room for a time out. After the time out we had a talk and I reiterated that if she had told me the truth in the first place she would have had to make up my bed and that was it. Much like when someone spills juice on the floor - it's no big deal, we just clean it up. Sometimes after situations like this the girls are much better about telling the truth for awhile. And sometimes when I give them a second chance to tell me what really happened they do. Like another poster said, I want them to come to me and tell me the truth. It's just a really big work in progress. I had to add one more thing – I always make it a point to have a “stricter” punishment for lying than for whatever they’ve done that they are trying to cover up. For example, one of them took the pillows and comforter off my bed and threw them on the floor. I knew who it was because the other 2 kids had been downstairs with me the whole time. So I said, “What happened to my bed?” and the culprit immediately turned and pointed to her sister and said “I saw her throw them on the floor.” I then said “Well, I know that isn’t the truth because she was sitting on the couch watching tv with me, let’s try again and tell me what really happened.” The child told me another completely made up story involving the dog, a burglar (?) and a mosquito. I told her that I don’t like it when she doesn’t tell me the truth and I had given her a second chance to do so. Her consequences were as follows: for throwing my bedding on the floor she had to make my bed; for telling me something that was not true she had to sit in her room for a time out.

After the time out we had a talk and I reiterated that if she had told me the truth in the first place she would have had to make up my bed and that was it. Much like when someone spills juice on the floor – it’s no big deal, we just clean it up. Sometimes after situations like this the girls are much better about telling the truth for awhile. And sometimes when I give them a second chance to tell me what really happened they do. Like another poster said, I want them to come to me and tell me the truth. It’s just a really big work in progress.

]]> By: Karyn Climans http://blog.lindsaymaddox.com/2010/07/lily-lies/comment-page-1/#comment-1491 Karyn Climans Mon, 19 Jul 2010 23:31:12 +0000 http://blog.lindsaymaddox.com/?p=662#comment-1491 I know you're talking about an important parenting issue but I can't stop smiling while I'm looking at the photos of your daughter ... covered in chocolate and obviously guilty but still proclaiming her innocence. Got to love her! I know you’re talking about an important parenting issue but I can’t stop smiling while I’m looking at the photos of your daughter … covered in chocolate and obviously guilty but still proclaiming her innocence. Got to love her!

]]> By: Rissa Watkins http://blog.lindsaymaddox.com/2010/07/lily-lies/comment-page-1/#comment-1489 Rissa Watkins Mon, 19 Jul 2010 21:56:37 +0000 http://blog.lindsaymaddox.com/?p=662#comment-1489 We have problems at our house with lies as well. I read some book that said they will behave as you expect them and if you say the lie all the time- they will. So I tried it. Had a talk with the boy explaining why he should tell me the truth and how if he lies then no one will believe him. Told him we were going to start over. He was very excited. It worked for a few days then back to lies. I told him, "guess what, we are going to Disneyland tomorrow!" let him get all excited and then when he brought it up told him I was lying and asked him how he felt about it. Just so you know, that didn't work either. if you find a solution, let me know. :) We have problems at our house with lies as well. I read some book that said they will behave as you expect them and if you say the lie all the time- they will.

So I tried it. Had a talk with the boy explaining why he should tell me the truth and how if he lies then no one will believe him. Told him we were going to start over. He was very excited. It worked for a few days then back to lies.

I told him, “guess what, we are going to Disneyland tomorrow!” let him get all excited and then when he brought it up told him I was lying and asked him how he felt about it.

Just so you know, that didn’t work either. if you find a solution, let me know. :)

]]> By: Susan S http://blog.lindsaymaddox.com/2010/07/lily-lies/comment-page-1/#comment-1488 Susan S Mon, 19 Jul 2010 21:48:37 +0000 http://blog.lindsaymaddox.com/?p=662#comment-1488 If you handle this well now, she will be less likely to lie in the future...seriously. :) I told the boys, "You can tell me anything, as long as it's the truth" and "You will get in less trouble with the truth than you will with a lie". It took a few times to prove my point, but it eventually sunk in...I hope for good. Also...you have to reciprocate. When they come to you with the other more serious questions, you have to be honest with them too. It's tough sometimes, but it pays off. Sweetie, you are doing a fantabulous job at parenting...both of you and C are awesome. Hang in there, and yes...you will look back at this and laugh :) If you handle this well now, she will be less likely to lie in the future…seriously. :)

I told the boys, “You can tell me anything, as long as it’s the truth” and “You will get in less trouble with the truth than you will with a lie”. It took a few times to prove my point, but it eventually sunk in…I hope for good.

Also…you have to reciprocate. When they come to you with the other more serious questions, you have to be honest with them too. It’s tough sometimes, but it pays off.

Sweetie, you are doing a fantabulous job at parenting…both of you and C are awesome. Hang in there, and yes…you will look back at this and laugh :)

]]> By: Beth http://blog.lindsaymaddox.com/2010/07/lily-lies/comment-page-1/#comment-1487 Beth Mon, 19 Jul 2010 21:43:04 +0000 http://blog.lindsaymaddox.com/?p=662#comment-1487 Hugs Lindsay. I have BTDT with my girls (luckily my little man hasn't started lying yet). Unfortunately my older one is 7 1/2 years old and still has problems with not telling the truth or leaving out important parts. It's very upsetting to me... and in fact makes me so mad I have to walk away for a bit. She's lied to her teacher at school and gotten into BIG trouble for it, both at school and at home. Yet she still lies. It's so very frustrating as a parent to deal with a child lying to your face. We're still working on it in our house and the only advice I have is be consistent. Hugs Lindsay. I have BTDT with my girls (luckily my little man hasn’t started lying yet). Unfortunately my older one is 7 1/2 years old and still has problems with not telling the truth or leaving out important parts. It’s very upsetting to me… and in fact makes me so mad I have to walk away for a bit. She’s lied to her teacher at school and gotten into BIG trouble for it, both at school and at home. Yet she still lies. It’s so very frustrating as a parent to deal with a child lying to your face. We’re still working on it in our house and the only advice I have is be consistent.

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