Go find yourself… puh-lease.
I have changed significantly in the past two years and I can almost precisely pinpoint when it occurred: about twenty pages from the end of the book Eat, Pray, Love.
I used to love Oprah. I used to fall victim to her book club, her gotta-read-it-or-your-life-will-be-unfulfilled ways.
When Eat, Pray, Love came out, I rushed to read it. I needed inspiration and here was this woman, who had given up everything, it seemed, to go find herself. Surely, that would be inspiring.
{Okay, here’s where I know I have changed. It took every ounce of my energy to type “go find herself.” I digress, I’ll get to the reason behind that in a bit.}
A friend of mine asked me recently if I was excited to see Eat, Pray, Love in the theater.
“I have no desire to see that movie,” I responded.
She looked shocked, and I can understand why. After all, I had given her a copy of the book as a present because I thought she’d enjoy it. And she had. She also met me at the end of my “I love Oprah” phase, so she may still think I am that person.
“It’s about a woman, traveling the world to go find herself,” she said. “You’re killin’ me, Lindsay.”
Yet, that one phrase “go find herself” is exactly why I have no desire to see it and why I am steering as clear of that crap as I can.
Commence venting:
My lovely readers, you don’t need to divorce your husband, leave your job (and anyway, didn’t she get an advance to write this book, which gave her money to travel, hm?), and travel the world to find yourself.
That. Is. Such. Bunk.
It’s whiny. I hate it.
Seriously, tell me that you all are even remotely “normal” on vacation. I’m not normal on vacation. Depending upon the vacation, I’m a completely different person. I’m either way more laid back than my normal self, or extremely outgoing. I’m usually more daring. How can you find yourself when the real “you” is hidden by this vacation-facade of yourself?
Here, I’ll save ya thousands of dollars: You can’t.
If you are unhappy, make yourself happy, but lemme tell ya, you don’t need a crap-ton of money and a passport to do it. People are finding ways to create their own happiness every single day, but you don’t see Julia Roberts playing their character, do you?
If you need inspiration, be inspiring. Do something for other people, especially if you can do it anonymously. Make it a daily goal to perform random acts of kindness and imagine the smile on the face of the person in the drive through behind you whose coffee you just paid for. Set your mind to start a workout routine, send an email to a friend telling them how much they mean to you, give a little of yourself somehow.
In my experience, the best way to find happiness is to give a piece of myself away.
Go find yourself…
Ugh. The term makes me want to lash out irrationally.
You don’t have to leave to find yourself. You are already here, for heaven’s sake.
I’m not saying it’s lame to go see the movie and be inspired by it. If that’s what get’s you going, then that’s awesome. Go for it, and enjoy the mancandy at the end for me!
Vent: Over.
(Of course, if a book company wanted to pay me to write a similar book, I’m all for it. Maybe I’ll call it Sleep, Nap, Snore: A Tale of a Mom on Vacation. Or how about Gross, Cute, Sappy: Raising Four Under Five… Seriously, publishers, cwahl me, let’s tawk.)
(A fellow BlogHer10 Attendee inspired me to write this post, thanks to hers: http://www.accidentalmusings.com/2010/08/how-much-to-eat-pray-and-love/)
