I know my weakness.
Anyone who knows me knows how much I love the internet. I love connecting. I love having conversations. I love sharing blogs and photos. I love promoting other people and myself. I just plain love it and think it’s an incredible tool and a luxury, too.
When I accepted my job, I knew very well that would mean a significant decrease in my online time. I admit, I was concerned that I would miss being online and feeling connected.
Straight off the bat, I made a very conscious decision to make sure that after I come home from work, my first task is to be Mommy and Wifey, that my blog and Facebook weren’t going to come before the most important people in my life. Wanna know something that I figured out?
I don’t miss the internet.
Swear to Bob, I really don’t. I use blogging and the internet to fulfill the side of me that craves being social and connecting to others. At work, I have more interaction than I would ever know what to do with. When I get home, the absolute only thing I want to do is be with Clint and the kids. It isn’t something that feels like a chore or something that I should do to be a good wife and mother. It’s something that I want to do.
I have realized so much about myself this past week. I loved my time with my kids. I’m so grateful that I was able to be a stay-at-home-mom for nearly seven years. Truly, deeply, I wouldn’t trade that time for anything. But, I am so thankful for this new adventure in our lives. I’m thankful that I get to work right now.
Staying home with kids, I realized, is not my forte. Too easily, I get stuck in a rut and find myself less engaged and more annoyed with them than I should be. Sure, I was there all the time, but beginning recently, I wasn’t an awesome mom. Now, I am not home all day, but when I am home, I am 100% Mom. When my kids say, “Mom, come here and look at this!” I go there and look at that instead of whining from the couch, “Uuuh, can you bring it to me to see?” When my kids tell me excitedly about their day for the fifth time, I am engaged and I listen instead of counting down the seconds until bedtime because I’m totally wiped out and need a break from them.
For me, going back to work has been and will continue to be quality over quantity.
I know there is a huge debate over SAHM vs. WOHM. Having been on both sides, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that the only right answer is the one that works for you and your family. The way that one person feels fulfilled and productive doesn’t have to be the same as another. Plain and simple. Having been on both sides of the fence now, I can say that I deeply admire both kinds of moms because when it all comes down to it, we all have the same goal: To feel fulfilled and to do what’s best for our families. There’s nothing wrong with that, wouldn’t you agree?
Today is the 20th day of my month of thanks. Today, I am deeply grateful for this new adventure. I cannot believe how different our lives are from less than three weeks ago. Wow.