Silly Mom Thoughts

Before I kick the bucket...

2010-03-12T21:09:00Z

Think of all the horrible things that have happened to you to date. Now, imagine all of those things happening within the course of a year. You might, just might, be close to understanding what my friend has gone through this past year.

I didn't know Katie two months ago, but I feel like I've known her forever. She is 20 years old, gorgeous inside and ...

I'm glad I shaved my legs for this...

2010-03-11T23:47:00Z

So, there I was, mostly naked, lying on my stomach. First touch, the side of my boo-tay. Next, up my back. My neck. My arms.There was oil involved. Slow music played in the background. I lost myself in ecstacy and thought, "Wow, I'm glad I shaved my legs for this."

"Let me know if you get uncomfortable," she said in a calming voice.

It was a massage, sicko. Get your brain ...

Part Two of You put what in your mouth?!

2010-03-09T16:26:00Z

If you haven't read the original You put *what* in your mouth?! I'd recommend starting there before reading this post. It'll truly give you some insight to what weird stuff my daughter has licked, chewed on, and otherwise completely grossed me out with.

For whatever reason, I mentally blocked the grossest, most barf-worthy thing she has put in her mouth.

Ya know how you forget certain experiences until something sparks your memory? That ...

Longing and coffee...

2010-03-07T20:49:00Z

Yesterday I talked about... um, well, if you read it, you remember. Today, I'm going to mention church. What can I say? I'm a multi-faceted human being.

Today, our pastor spoke about longing and asked us to think about what we long for. We turned to the person next to us and told them what that was.

I leaned my head on Clint's shoulder and sighed, "Sleeeeep!"

He laughed ...

Mommy's Toy

2010-03-06T21:01:00Z

The people who probably should not read the following blog include: My mom, dad, brother, grandma, basically anyone who can remember me in diapers, my kids in the future when the idea of their parents doing anything but holding hands is grooooss!, anyone who thinks sex toys are the devil, and anyone without a sense of humor.

Still with me?

I know you are...

Yesterday, I heard little ...

I'm a clutz & Lily's a meanie

2010-03-05T22:14:00Z

I fell yesterday, like, really friggin' hard. I was carrying Z in my arms, stepped over a bean bag on the floor, thought I had cleared it, but nope... slipped on the fabric of the bean bag and went dooown onto the hardwood floors. I twisted my body so Z would land on his booty, so he was totally fine and that was good. I, however, feel like I got into a car accident.

...

I was desperate...

2010-03-03T02:43:00Z

I did something to my babies last night that I would've never thought I would do; something that I am 100% positive they will hate me for later in life.

You see, my babies have been waking up in the middle of the night. Desperate for a full-night's sleep, I began running through my mind potential reasons why they might be waking up.

Like any mother of a non-sleeping baby (or two), ...

Judge not, or I'll blog about you!

2010-02-23T20:50:00Z

Last weekend, Turk and I were Super Parents. (Duh-da da da-dat duh daaaa!) We took on the slightly insane task of walking to downtown with our four kids strapped into two strollers. It was one of those things that could've gone horribly, painfully wrong.

Thankfully, it didn't. Nothing noteworthy happened. The kids behaved. They giggled and had fun. They were saintly!

But, fear not, for I have more ...

Our Just Right

2010-02-21T21:13:00Z

It always makes me nervous, trying out a new church. I get butterflies in my stomach as we wade through the churchgoers mingling in the foyer. My heart skips little timid beats when we try to figure out exactly where we should sit in the pews. "Are we too far in the back?" I worry. "Too close to the front? What if we're in someone's normal every-Sunday seat?"

I'm not entirely sure what ...

You put what in your mouth?!

2010-02-18T20:58:00Z

Oh, my little Lily.

Lily, Lily, Lily. She's a pretty girl. She's a smart girl. And I'm pretty sure she was sent here from Heaven to teach me that the body can truly put up with a lot of crap without getting sick.

I used the word "crap" intentionally.

You see, not only is my little Lily Bean ...

Four days left... eeep!

2010-02-17T00:44:00Z

This is the ultimate give-away: A slice of history. Yes, folks, you read that right. History.

One day, when I'm a wicked awesome superfamous writer and you're holding my very first published work in your hands, my fancy schmancy autograph on the inside cover... you're going to be so thankful you entered to win.

Man, I should probably be careful with all this egotistical talk. Those who don't know me in person might actually ...

Memories: The Sweet and the Ugly

2010-02-16T00:19:00Z

because i want to remember all the sweet (and even not-so-sweet) moments of motherhood, i'm typing this blog one-handed. why, you ask? well, it's simple...

my lap is full of babies.

babies who scream the second i put them down, but smile and snuggle when they're in my arms. babies who are staring at each other, sucking their fingers, clutching my shirt, and stinking like spit up. (note to self: bath time tonight.) babies ...

Kind of a morbid thought...

2010-02-13T22:32:00Z

Olympic contestant Nodar Kumaritashvili's death was horrific, sad, and downright unfortunate. It also got me thinking something sort of morbid, and sort of humorous (in a sick way).

Do you ever wonder what people think in the split second before they die?

I think there are three scenarios and therefore three types of thoughts that the soon-to-be-deceased might have. I have broken it down like this in my head:

...

Freebie, anyone?

2010-02-09T02:54:00Z

Today I received a text message from a friend of mine that said, "You need to go look at my blog right now... it's urgent!!!!!!" I believed it was urgent too, not only for the word "urgent" but for the six---count 'em, six--- exclamation points she used. I was in a bit of a haze, so my first thought was "Oh no, what happened" and my heart fell into my stomach. Then, ...

A rare blog.

2010-02-06T22:40:00Z

I am sitting here kid-free, chatting with friends, drinking hot coffee, scrapbooking, writing articles, being... productive. Don't adjust your screen. You read those words right.

Kid-free.

Hot coffee.

Where are my kids, you wonder? Superman (a.k.a. Turk) has taken them for the entire day to give me a nice Mommy break. Of course I had to offer him ...

Oh the poo-manity.

2010-02-05T23:00:00Z

I have decided that God is a funny, funny guy. I mean, He does knee slappingly hilarious stuff like make rock formations look like dangle-y man parts and just about anything else look like boobs.

And he gave me Bean.

Oh, my little poop loving Bean.

Maybe poop "loving" is a bit excessive. Let's say she's more poop "interested." If you're a regular follower of my blog, ...

Love & Loss: A Bullet to the Heart

2010-02-01T18:01:00Z

Author Robert Arend, who experienced the tragic loss of his baby girl 29 years ago, read my story in the recently released anthology Elements of the Soul. "I had thought it easier for a man to get passed such tragedy than for her mother," he told me. "Love & Loss put the lie to that."

Me, the sobbing mess.

2010-01-29T23:53:00Z

Remember that fetal position rocking and humming I mentioned in my last blog? Yeah, that almost became a reality today. It's sounding more and more appealing too, the idea of jumping off the deep end of my sanity. I mean, it'd probably be pretty quiet in my very own padded room. Certainly, there wouldn't be anyone throwing up on me or screaming their brains out. Sure, other patients might be doing that in their own ...

The Spew Blog

2010-01-28T19:21:00Z

I sit here, typing this blog, four sweet eyes staring at me. Four sweet eyes of two four-month-old babies who have spent the better part of the week puking their guts out all over me. I wonder if they're studying me to plot their next projectile spewing venture.

Y just gave me a wide, gummy smile when I typed that last line. He's totally out to get me. ...

Quickie Update

2010-01-16T23:18:00Z

Whew, life has gotten away with me. The twins are now four months old and the fattest, cutest little droolbugs I have ever seen! Things are starting to get into a predictable routine. They're napping around the same time every day, they're definitely going to bed around the same time, and I love that I can predict when they're going to be hungry or just need a pacifier before they start freaking out. The only tough thing ...