Every morning, when I walk in to free my little twinkies from their baby prison, I open the door and put on an expression like I am absolutely shocked to see them there.

“My men!” I exclaim. “My men are here! I am so glad to see my man-boys!”

I gasp. I swoon. I tell them I am so lucky to have such manly men in my life.

They. Eat. It. Up!

I’m telling ya. You’ve never seen such excitement. There’s booty scooting, there’s clapping, there’s foot-stomping, and of course, smiles and giggles.

What can I say? I’m kind of a big deal.

This morning was like every other morning. I walked in, Read more on Finding words in his drool: Crazy or Observant?…

The second a mother first holds her baby, she should automatically be granted super-human immunity.

Just my opinion.

We, as mothers (okay dads, you can be in on this too), shouldn’t be susceptible to cold, flu, or any other virus. (Or lice. Let’s put lice in that category too.)

It is miserable to be sick and to have to also parent kids who may or may not also be sick. Unfortunately, the sickness timing is rarely optimal. As far as I’ve concluded in my 5 years of parenting, there are three possible options in the virus-passing realm:

Ew. On second thought, maybe I shouldn’t use the words “poo” and “niblet” in the same sentence…

Live and learn.

This morning, on the Silly Mom Thoughts Facebook Fanpage, I wrote:

Love is never having to say “I’m sorry, I crapped on you.” Apparently, my kids love me… a lot.

It turned out to be a huge tease and I received a couple of comments from readers who were anticipating a juicy poo story.

Hm… “juicy” and “poo” shouldn’t go together in a sentence either.

Noted.

The problem is, that my Facebook update wasn’t necessarily meant as a precursor to a hilarious poop story. It was more reminiscing on my part, of past poo trauma.

That’s not to say, of course, that I don’t have a recent poop story. These stories happen almost daily, so I figured you’d all get tired of them.

After reading the responses to my Facebook update, I can see that isn’t so.

I pretty much lost it today.

Twice.

You see, my life revolves around poop. From the second I wake up in the morning, open the twins’ bedroom door and am nearly knocked unconscious by a mushroom cloud of stank, to the final nasty diaper of the day.

All day.

Every day.

Double diaper duty.

Sure, I love my babies. I do not, however, feel any fondness to their feces.

This morning, I left the babies in their cribs a little longer than normal. Read more on Seriously, enough with the crap….

A conversation with Lily about where she’s supposed to go to the bathroom. Notice her stinker face at about :27. Imagine trying to keep a straight face when she gives you that expression after getting into trouble.

Read more on Video: “Where do we go potty?”…

I did a very bad thing yesterday; something I try not to do. Something that makes me feel like a very bad mama on the rare occasion that I do it…

Read more on PhotoBlog: Ahhh!…

Take a trip back in time with me, to April 13th, 1990. In case you’re not a super calendar genius, that was Good Friday and also Friday the 13th.

I’m not an incredibly superstitious person, but boy-howdy, was that a bad day for me.

It was the last day of school before Spring Break and my first grade teacher (the spectacularly fantastic Ms. Simon) had set up a big ‘ole Easter party for us. We …

I did something to my babies last night that I would’ve never thought I would do; something that I am 100% positive they will hate me
for later in life.

Like any mother of a non-sleeping baby (or two), …

I have decided that God is a funny, funny guy. I mean, He does knee slappingly hilarious stuff like make "http://thingsthataredoingit.com/2010/01/26/thats-quite-the-hanger/">rock formations look like dangle-y man parts and just about anything else look like boobs.

Maybe poop “loving” is a bit excessive. Let’s say she’s more poop “interested.” If you’re a regular follower of my blog, …