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Clint and I made an incredibly stupid parenting decision about a month ago.
We told the kids their first knock-knock joke.
At first, it was entertaining. They would laugh and laugh over the jokes we’ve all heard a million times. The best part Read more on Video(s): Knock-Knock……
Ew. On second thought, maybe I shouldn’t use the words “poo” and “niblet” in the same sentence…
Live and learn.
This morning, on the Silly Mom Thoughts Facebook Fanpage, I wrote:
Love is never having to say “I’m sorry, I crapped on you.” Apparently, my kids love me… a lot.
It turned out to be a huge tease and I received a couple of comments from readers who were anticipating a juicy poo story.
Hm… “juicy” and “poo” shouldn’t go together in a sentence either.
Noted.
The problem is, that my Facebook update wasn’t necessarily meant as a precursor to a hilarious poop story. It was more reminiscing on my part, of past poo trauma.
That’s not to say, of course, that I don’t have a recent poop story. These stories happen almost daily, so I figured you’d all get tired of them.
After reading the responses to my Facebook update, I can see that isn’t so.
I pretty much lost it today.
Twice.
You see, my life revolves around poop. From the second I wake up in the morning, open the twins’ bedroom door and am nearly knocked unconscious by a mushroom cloud of stank, to the final nasty diaper of the day.
All day.
Every day.
Double diaper duty.
Sure, I love my babies. I do not, however, feel any fondness to their feces.
This morning, I left the babies in their cribs a little longer than normal. Read more on Seriously, enough with the crap….
I have to be completely honest with you: This blog post makes me want to cry. In fact, as I uploaded the pictures for this post and looked back at that face Lily gave me… it choked me up.
A conversation with Lily about where she’s supposed to go to the bathroom. Notice her stinker face at about :27. Imagine trying to keep a straight face when she gives you that expression after getting into trouble.
Read more on Video: “Where do we go potty?”…
Today, despite a horrendously splitting headache, I ventured out of the house with all of my kids in tow. It was more out of necessity than anything.
I had to get two super important prescriptions filled:
I did a very bad thing yesterday; something I try not to do. Something that makes me feel like a very bad mama on the rare occasion that I do it…
Read more on PhotoBlog: Ahhh!…
It has taken me some time, but I am slowly but surely realizing my mom is a genius. Growing up, she worked as a teacher and came home to my brother, dad, and me, only for my dad to have to leave to go work the night shift soon after she arrived.
Read more on My Doctor Is A Quack…
… this is too dang cute.
My dad got Lily to sing It’s Raining It’s Pouring. If you could squish cheeks through the computer, you’d probably want to while listening to this:
Lily Singing “It’s Raining, It’s Pouring”
And now, it’s time for… maul that twin! Our contestants today are: Wyatt and Zander. Welcome boys, how are you feeling about today’s competition?
©LindsayMaddox
Hm. They seem a bit indifferent. Perhaps they’re mentally preparing for today’s match.
There are only a few rules that must be followed on MomTransit:
1. Mom chooses the music. I don’t do Barney. I don’t do Wee Sing (*shudder*). I can barely stomach Kids Bop, but I will in dire circumstances.
2. No backseat driving. Especially if the last time you played “Red Light, Green Light,” you ran on red and stopped on green. (I’m looking at you, Lily.)
and finally,
3. If we are within 10 minutes of the house, there is no sleeping allowed! I don’t want kids conking out for five minutes and have their little bodies think that’s plenty to sustain them and avoid napping.
Mama needs her naptime for important things.
Like work.
And cleaning.
(And Facebook.)
Today, my friend April and I took our kids to McDonald’s for an (insert sarcasm) incredibly healthy lunch and time to play in the tubes and wear themselves out before naptime.
(You know how desperate a mom is for her kids to nap when she’s willing to brave the disgusting germiness of a McDonald’s Playplace.)
After the kids ran, climbed, and slid their little hearts out, we headed for home. On the way home, Lily began nodding off.
“Uh oh, there she goes,” I said to April.
April, who is a firm believer in the No Car Nap rule had my back.
“Liiii-lllyyyy!” she called to her. “No sleeping, Lily!”
Lily’s head bobbed and she whipped it upright and opened her eyes.
“Good girl!” I smiled into the rearview mirror. “Stay awake, baby girl, we’re almost home!”
Her eyelids were no match for the warm sun beating in through the window and the soft music in the background, though. Again, they slid shut ever so slowly.
“Hey!” April said loudly. “Lily! Lilylilylilylilylily!”
Her eyes half-opened and she gave a funny little smirk.
I turned on Don’t Stop Believin’ from the Glee soundtrack (her favorite song) and rolled the windows down. She fought valiantly against the drowsiness, but her eyelids drooped again.
“Don’t stop believin’!” I turned the music up louder.
My copilot and photographer took some pictures of Lily’s eyelid fight. In the end, she was awake when we pulled into the driveway, so we won the battle of the nap. She was asleep in her bed within five minutes of hitting the pillow.
No sleeping on MomTransit. It’s a rule enforced without mercy.
What I’m listening to:
(This is a new section for my blog. If you’d like to hear what I’m listening to, or songs that I love that pertain to my blog, click the link above. If you purchase the mp3, I get a small portion of the earnings. Don’t feel obligated to, though! I mostly want to share with you the kind of music I love.)
Photos courtesy of April and her sweet Blackberry photo skills.
Have you ever seriously thought about the purpose of playdates and the true meaning behind them?
“Well, we go to playdates so my kids can learn social skills like sharing,” you might say.
I pride myself on being real both to myself and others. So, I feel like I need to uphold that part of myself that I both love and hate and give you the true awfulness of what I’ve been through
recently.
Be forewarned… this may end up being more of a vent blog than a chipper-happy blog (but you know I’ll try to make it funny).
The past 24 hours have been pretty dog-gone stressful in my already semi-chaotic world. Sure, there was that whole
That seals it, Lily can no longer be left alone in a room for even a second. Yesterday, I was a bad mom. I was consumed in something else and not paying as close
of attention to the kids as I should have. Lily was in the kitchen doodling, giggling, having fun. Colby was playing with Transformers. The babies were sitting in their bouncy seats in the
kitchen near Lily.
I peeked in …
If you haven’t read the original You put *what* in your mouth?! I’d
recommend starting there before reading this post. It’ll truly give you some insight to what weird stuff my daughter has licked, chewed on, and otherwise completely grossed me out with.
For whatever reason, I mentally blocked the grossest, most barf-worthy thing she has put in her mouth.
Ya know how you forget certain experiences until something sparks your memory? That …
